Busy Busy Busy

In the Hughes household we have been very busy! Were getting ready for Christmas and getting over colds and it looks as though Jack might bite the dust. He has been floating on his side for 2 whole days now and just looks about ready to give up. Fingers crossed he pulls through though!

I did a full scale tidy of the house the other day. I hate putting up a Christmas tree when the house is a dusty mess so the house is now ready for the tree! Were planning to put it up on Saturday. Quite early I know, but we always have it up for the 1st December, but 1st December is a Tuesday.

Ollie has not been so well the past few days. He had a very upset tummy, no appetite and a slight temperature but his mood was good. His nose is so so runny. Poor boy. He seems to be on the mend now though, his appetite is still not great and he is refusing to feed himself after learning how to do it independently.

I hope he is feeling much better for Friday, because he is going to meet Santa for the first time! Our local shopping centre has a Santa that my friend is convinced is the REAL one. I can't wait to take him. On Saturday my step dad is taking him on the 'Lapland Express'. A local steam train with Santa aboard.


Last week I recieved a massive bunch of flowers from a group of friends on a forum I go to. They had done a collection after they heard my bad news. Aren't they gorgeous. I honestly couldn't have got through the past few weeks without all of their support.


As far as that goes, I am doing ok now. I still am feeling in a bit of a rut, but I'm getting out of it. I'm keeping myself very very busy and on Sunday we had more closure in the form of a negative pregnancy test. I had had 2 faint ones before that, but it's finally completely over now.

I'm in the middle of working on 2 blog designs and then I will finish with my announcing the new side to my business. I never got around to doing that!

Number 71 on the list complete

"Buy a good mobile phone"

I actually got this last month but forgot to do my post for it. I love it! The camera is really good on it too. I didn't even have to buy it at full price! My auntie bought it but recieved a new phone for her birthday only days later, and she preferred the new one and so agreed to sell this phone to me for £20!

motivation...

Has anyone got any spare they can lend me? I have SO SO SO much needing done with regards to housework, blog design work, blogging, Christmas.... and I just feel in such a slump right now. I think I need a pull! :( I thought I was feeling ok about things, but I guess I'm not. SIL is due her baby any day now and I don't know how to feel.

I promise I will write something fun soon and let you all know what Ollie is up to... and promise to get back to the blog designing!

x

Soooooo Clever!

In the past 2 days, Ollie has learnt 4 brand new words... (train, nappy, daddy - he has previously only said dada, bubbles) and now knows the parts of the body. If I ask him where is his nose, bellybutton, mouth, foot and leg he will point and if i say where is mummy's nose etc he will point at mine too. It has only happened in the last couple of days and its so so cute. He now has 23 words!

He is also understanding phrases much better. It seems you only have to tell him what something is once now and he knows what it is forever.

I'm very very proud of him.

They have names!

The white fish with the red on his head I have named Flash (as in Flash Gordon) and the fish with the big black eye, I have named Jack (as in Jack Sparrow with all the black eyeliner and creepy moustache). So Jack and Flash. Also these names are easy for Ollie to learn.

Number 40 on the list complete (Our new family members!)

"Buy 2 goldfish"

Ok... so I know they aren't goldfish, they are orandas. Aren't they cute? I'm finding it really hard to think of names though. I'm bad at thinking up pet names!!

One fish has red on its head and the rest of it is white.... the other one has one normal eye like what the white fish's eye looks like but also has a very large black eye....poor thing. My friend has been over and suggested we name the white one Ariel (The Little Mermaid - red hair and a fish tail).... and suggested for the one with the big eye - Popeye, Will.i.am or Taboo from Black Eyed Peas (teeheee).

I don't know.

They're cute though aren't they! Ollie loves them. He has attempted to say fish a couple of times tonight and has managed the first half!

anybody else good at thinking up pet names?

Guess What!!?

Were just about to go out and buy some fish! We've never had fish before, but we have been looking after my friend's while she is away on holiday and Ollie seems really interested. I've always quite liked fish.... can't wait!

Will post some photos of them when we come home!

Halloween!

I know they are so so late, but with the week we have had I haven't been up to posting them. So here they are!! We didn't do very much. We had my bff and her fiance over (and their little baby Ivy, who Ollie adores), we got Dominoes Pizza and played Scene-It.


Ollie LOVED the fireworks that were happening outside. Anytime any started I would run out the front of the house with him so he could see them. He was mesmerized.


I carved a pumpkin, made pumpkin soup (but accidently let too much pepper fall in, it was alright though), pumpkin muffins and roasted the pumpkin seeds, letting nothing go to waste. The pumpkin seeds were gorgeous!


Ollie dressed as a mummy (really the only comfy outfit I could find for him because his that fussy about hangy things and things on his face or head!) and his friend Ivy dressed as a witch!

Some happy pictures of my boy (a trip to the play park)

Don't you love his big boy coat? It was an early Christmas present from his Nana.

It's all over now

The miscarriage is over. We went to the hospital yesterday after a lot of very bad pain and awful bleeding on Sunday night. I knew at that moment on Sunday night that I was losing the baby.

I made an appointment for Monday afternoon and we had a scan done which confirmed that the miscarriage is finished. Everything is gone. I'm myself again. I'm right back to the non pregnant me and I feel ok and feel relief. I am pleased my body was able to do it itself without the need for medical intervention and that we can now focus on moving on and looking forward. I'm not even cramping today and I'm hardly bleeding anymore.

It's over.... it's entirely finished. So surreal though that we ever went through the whole last fortnight.

I want to say a massive thank you to you all for your very kind words, virtual hugs and for your prayers. I promise I will get to replying to your comments.

Hopefully I will have more happy news to share with you all soon.

Sorry I didn't update sooner (this post might be sensitive or TMI)

Unfortunately James and I received bad news. The baby did in fact stop growing at 6 weeks. We are devastated but are also dealing with it ok. To be honest, I think we had both mentally prepared for bad news the whole week so when we heard it, it was not the biggest shock.

The first Dr. who came in to do the ultrasound could not see a thing and I was hopeful that things were completely over. That would have been the better bad news. She got another Dr. to come in to have a look and she saw everything we saw last week. She measured the baby again and noted a slight size difference (even though this could just be due to a different Dr. measuring the baby last week than the one measuring it this week). Even so, she had to note this difference (of less than a mm) which means she can not legally advise of my options without waiting a week to scan again.

The Dr. did tell us it was bad news, but she also said I can not undergo the operation to remove everything without waiting the week. For me, it is the worst news. I really wanted some proper proper closure on the whole thing, but we are waiting around another week. I have already decided that I would like the operation when I am advised of my options on Friday.

As I have had a missed miscarriage (which means the miscarriage is not picked up on until further on after the baby has stopped growing - the baby stopped growing at 6 weeks and I should have been 9 weeks on Thursday) the chances are the baby could still be there between 12 - 14 weeks which is the average time to lose a missed miscarriage. I can't wait that long for things to happen. I just want it to happen, so I can deal with it properly and move on.

I am bleeding at the minute and to be honest (sorry in advance for TMI) it is a lot redder and a lot heavier than before the scan. One of the Drs took a swab with a speculum and everything and it was agony. I think she may have prompted things to start to happen naturally. I might go back on Thursday and be told it is all over and there is nothing left.

I hope this post is making sense. I am finding it hard to write everything down.

I'm dealing ok and so is my hubby, because we had the long week before this scan to come to terms with the fact that it might very possibly be bad news. I think the worst is over us now and I am trying to be really strong and positive about the fact that I have such a wonderful little family here with me to make me feel good and the fact that James and I are still young (he is 29, I am 25) and we have lots of time to have another baby.

I am upset about the fact that things were just so so perfect. The age gap, the time of year the baby would be born... different things.

I have fab friends who are really helping me through this. I know they are they for me if I need to talk about this, or if I need to just talk about normal stuff. I'm very lucky. My family are all helping me so much too.

Ollie has been in the most amazing form and it melts my heart just when I think of how wonderfully behaved he has been the last couple of weeks. He has become so so affectionate and just keeps doing little things that make me smile and laugh even though I'm not feeling good. he just lifts my spirits.

I know we will all be ok. I don't think I will ever get over this completely, and I won't forget my due date or the little baby I should have had on that date, but I will cry less and my heart won't hurt as much.

sigh

Only one more day to wait until we know what the situation is. I'm so nervous. I am going to be in pieces waiting until 10am tomorrow morning. At least we will know one way or another.